When I was in 3rd grade I got my first Webkinz (it was a blue hippo and I told my mom he was a gay hairdresser named snipse) I thought it would be fucking hilarious if my username was assbobobo and I was pretty surprised they let it through but I was like hella then Webkinz started getting popular and people were like hey let’s be friends on Webkinz and I was like shit no sorry and people were so pissed at me. The thing was I had literally 81 Webkinz and I was fucking billionaire. I was hot shit. But yeah I fell out of that phase but I went on like a year ago and I started looking through my fucking mansion then Webkinz was like wow bruh your account name is naughty then they deleted my fucking account I’m still livid fuck you Webkinz.
A bit of advice for friends of depressed/anxious/etc. people (not just me, but anyone):
Sometimes, what we need is to be talked through a situation. Not berated, or told to cheer up, or told it’s “not that bad”… but to be helped through some of the practical considerations that may not always be obvious when we’re freaking out or self-hating.
For example, a friend just helped remind me that I could make oatmeal. When I was freaking out at her about how I didn’t have anything I could eat right away, she helped me go through a list of what I had, and figure out what I could cook at my current spoon level. As a result, I was able to eat and feel a little better.
Another example: Some of you remember how, way back in May 2011, I finally reached the transition-or-die breaking point, which physically manifested as me freezing/trembling in the middle of class in front of everybody. I was fortunate, then, to have a school instructor who helped talk me through the situation and who helped create the beginnings of a plan of action for coming out at school. This then snowballed into coming out at work and getting my name change process started, and I’ve been living as my lady self “full-time” ever since.
Notice how there was no minimizing of the situation, no attempts to tell me that I was “blowing things out of proportion” or whatever. It was more, “Okay, let’s look at the practical situation, and see what we can do.” That sort of help can be invaluable to a person as anxiety-prone/depression-prone as I am.
YES. My coping method was developed out of friends taking this approach with me (and so now I do it to myself) and it helps so much better than “think positive” and other kinds of value judgments… I don’t need your opinion at my crisis point I need some solutions!
I’M GONNA BE OKAY I’VE GOT PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME EVEN WHEN I DON’T REALLY DESERVE IT I’VE GOT THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO AND PEOPLE TO LOVE AND DOGS TO PET AND RAIN TO LISTEN TO AND I’M GONNA BE OKAY WE’RE GONNA BE OKAY
Name: rachel Nickname: iceeh/icy! Location: currently alaska, but usually washington Age: 21 Height: 5’7” Zodiac sign: aries Any pets: my parents have two cats and two dogs, though i have none that i personally own (when i get an apartment i will most likely be getting a cat shortly after though) Favourite thing about yourself: i like my voice sometimes and i think i have pretty eyes Worst habit: i have so many but my worst is probably refusing to actually go to bed when i’m tired, resulting in me falling asleep in weird places Fun fact: i am absolutely covered in sugar right now from making cotton candy and i love it
Identity, Sexuality & Personality
Gender identity: ??? probably agender tbh though i present as female and am currently chill with she/her pronouns Sexual preference: anyone besides cishet males (i do find the odd cis dude attractive though so this isn’t definitive) Romantic preference: see above "Kinsey Scale" score: HA it literally changes by the day Relationship status: taken! Myers/Briggs type: ENFP Hogwarts house: i honestly don’t know, i’m probably a hufflepuff but i’m fighting it
"Early Bird" or "Night Owl": night owl!! i do love mornings though, i’m just awful at them. Morning routine: wake up and go back to sleep at least five times, check my phone, get out of bed and shower if i didn’t shower at night, brush teeth/get dressed/put on makeup and grab breakfast if i have time
Bath or shower: shower! First thought in the morning: "when can i next take a nap" Last thought before falling asleep at night: usually whatever i’m excited about for the coming day, or sometimes a certain person u//u
Do you work or are you a student: i’m a student, though i’m currently working! What do you do good: hmm i’m good at customer service and acting peppy 100% of the time while working, i think i’m pretty good at baking and i’m good at accidentally making people laugh! Where do you see yourself in 5 years: hopefully graduated from college ahahha hahahahhahahahaha
Habits (Do you…?)
Drink: yep Smoke: not tobacco Do Drugs: yes indeed Exercise: occasionally, though not as much as i should Have a go-to comfort food: PEANUT BUTTER RITZ BITS Have a nervoushabit: if i’m nervous and talking to someone i will tear whatever i’m holding to shreds. actually this happens even when i’m not nervous i just destroy things when they’re in my reach and i’m not paying attention to my hands
What is your favourite…?
Physical quality (in yourself): i have long limbs and excellent collarbones In Others: i really like hands and wrists and noses! Mental/emotional quality (in yourself): i like how even when i’m at my lowest, i’m able to laugh at myself and keep situations relatively light Food: sushi i could eat so much sushi all the time Drink: coffee!! Animal: cheetahs and snow leopards and deer Artist/Band/Group: vienna teng! Author/Poet: markus zusak and adrienne rich TV Show: currently hannibal, though my all-time favorites are buffy and avatar Actor/Actress: aaron paul and jennifer morrison Blogger: i follow far too many people to answer this question
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for I CANNOT WAIT TO GO BACK TO BELLINGHAM and hang with all my friends and go to canada and VISIT PUP!!! and and and basically the period of time from when my job ends to when school starts
36. Favorite colour purple, but more specifically, lavender :3
i’m starting to form some loose plans for the rest of my summer so here’s reference for me basically
- finish work on the 5th, haircut on the 6th, fly back on the 7th (preferably in the AM, i need to change my plane ticket tomorrow)
- stay with carli and sort out apartment stuff with her and ACTUALLY SPEND HER BIRTHDAY WITH HER for the first time since i’ve been friends with her (we’ve been friends. for five years.)
- probably head up to canada on the 11th to spend a week with pup?
- sunshine coast with jack n zig around the 18th i think
- did i mention pup idk if i did
- that’s as far as i’ve got, i’ll update this as needed
i had a drink with dinner and that along with me being hella tired from work caused me to fall asleep pretty much immediately when i got home and slept for a good three hours but now it’s 1:30 AM and i am WIDE AWAKE
this is half a poem and half prose i just kinda had sentences swimming around my mind and i wanted to get them out somehow
my bones are itching to take me away from this prison i call home i want to run until my tendons tear and my muscles scream for respite
but a body like mine is only built for sprinting.
instead, i leap through fields of grass and gravel, trying to escape the heavy knowledge that this lightness will not be enough to deter the looming threat of gravity from placing its cold hands on my paper-thin shoulders
will you catch me when the dirt tries to settle in the crevasses of my skin?